*sigh*
Do i know something about my mind...?
The answer is nope...

I'm never be able to read my mind, even i think it's my self, but it's weird to feel this way. Somehow,  my body still need rest to keep my mind clear, but it' not like usual, i found in blindness and confuse, hope for something that never meet the true, searching for something that impossible, seeking love that never be able to touch my soul. Even i look as strong boy, but it's seem like i'm trap in the unknown zone that surround me with all of pain. Even the it is only in my mind but the pain is true, it's touch my soul until i bleeding, irritating me deeper and deeper. Never say mercy to me, even in the most pain i'm whimpering aloud the pain getting stronger to hurt me. Do i realize about it cause...? I thought it's not. i'm seeking for the true of it but i've never found the answer. Too mystery, be my guess, i'm ready for more pain then before, sometimes pain make me more to feel better, that teach me how to keep my friend's hurt from irritating by me, that's the way to keep me on sharp feel, and to keep me and prevent me from hurting my friend, that's how i believe about pain in my soul. Tonight, is only one from thousands night that i spent with it's pain, to keep me more sensitive about their heart to keep me to appreciate them as my friends. More than that, at certain condition i'm feel they are more than just a friend, someone who close to me, someone who was live in my life before, sometime they are become special person that i must to keep them happy, to keep them smile and say all a good thing.

But what should i do now...?

To keep them happy...?
To keep them smile...?

Because, not all the time i can be with them.
Then, what should i do...?
I want be their cure if they are wounded, i want be their medicine if they are sick, coz...
Coz...
Cozzz...
I want to be the wings for them, to lighten their life...